Are You REALLY Resting?

How’s the week? Last week was definitely a tough week! I think everyone was drained from the news of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, Gigi, and the seven other individuals who unfortunately lost their lives in the helicopter crash. I did not know him, but the news had me shaken up a bit. I couldn’t spend too much time dwelling on it because it was heartbreaking. My heart goes out to the families left behind without parents, siblings and children, but especially to Vanessa Bryant and her kids because I knew of them before this accident. I cannot imagine losing not just one but two of my immediate family members on the same day in such a tragic way. I pray for comfort for all who were involved in this unfortunate event. 

Today, we are going to discuss my take on what it means to rest. I feel like over the last few weeks, the one resounding theme I keep hearing is REST, which is foreign to me. I am the type of girl who is always forming a mental to-do list as soon as I get up in the morning…and adding to it throughout the day. For example, as I sit here writing this post, I am thinking about the four patient notes I didn’t finish yesterday at work and the 20+ I will have tomorrow. #NPlife I am thinking about how I am going to prep for work tomorrow, stay on top of my Bible reading plan, go to the post office, all while thinking of what to have for dinner, getting my laundry done and then going visit a friend and her new baby. These are all the things I would like to get done today and it is currently 5:43pm on Tuesday. And If I don’t get these all done tonight, they will roll over into my to-do list for tomorrow. Mind you, these are just short-term goals I want to meet – that’s not even getting into the long-term goals occupying my mind. So you can imagine that my brain never gets a break. 

My older sister tells me I spend too much time thinking (eye roll) and that I have type A personality traits which result in rigidity with time and planning that I really can’t help. I am not a “go with the flow” kind of girl. I like to have an agenda. Even though it may not go exactly as I planned, if it is organized, then I am okay with that. 

Let’s get real again – I think the underlying issue is that I feel like if I am not workingtoward something, I am wasting time. I feel like our society today has programmed us not to rest or has taught us that resting can be viewed as being “lazy” and “unambitious” or “unsuccessful.” Am I the only one who thinks like this? (I’m thinking again, I know.)

The ever-so-lovely Christian speaker and author Joyce Meyer was in town this weekend at Lakewood. She said it best when she spoke along the lines of our society having lost the art of being bored, which causes us never to rest.  This is something I have struggled with since graduating from college. I feel like I spent so many years in school workingtowards my high school diploma, my undergraduate degree, and then my graduate degree, that when I finally finished school, I couldn’t just enjoy myself without thinking of the next thing I needed to accomplish. And in my young mind, I thought that after I graduated from undergrad, or at least upon completing graduate school, I would have met my husband and I would have been workingon being a fiancé, planning a wedding, becoming a newlywed, and eventually, becoming someone’s mother. That’s just the way I KNEW it was going to happen. I mean, what other option was there? Well, that didn’t happen and then reality sunk in and I had to make other goals to worktoward while God was (and still is) working on bae. 

So, I focused on losing weight, developing relationships, traveling and attempting to change my career by looking into academic programs and even looking for a new job. I think these are all great things but sometimes I think I keep myself so busy that I don’t get to truly enjoy resting in my current season because I am workingtoward the next season and by doing this, I wear myself out. I don’t know how to be bored, actually, and to be honest, I don’t like being bored – I never have.

But I think, lately, God is speaking to me, saying that I need to be still and rest. At churcha few weeks ago, Pastor Jeremy preached on resting, and then this past weekend, Joyce Meyer preached on entering the rest of God(internal rest) and then my devotionalon Monday morning was about being still. They were all different messages but I think the overall theme was “rest.” 

I believe there are a few types of rest we all need, such as physical rest, mental rest, and most importantly, internal rest. You guessed it, the one I am focusing on today is internal rest but before we talk about that, I will quickly share strategies I use to obtain rest physically and mentally. 

  • Physical rest– When I can, I sleep in. This is mostly on the weekends because my employer would not appreciate me showing up to work late during the week. Unfortunately, my internal alarm clock goes off at 6 or 7am even during the weekend, so now I am learning to lay in bed for a couple of hours before starting a busy day. Praise be to God, I have no issues with getting enough sleep. 
  • Mental rest– For me, this means shutting down my mind, which is easier said than done for a thinker and planner like me. However, the way I do this includes listening to music, meditation, watching YouTube videos or movies and writing my thoughts down so they don’t continue to clutter my mind. 

Now, to the main course: internal rest. This comes down to me trusting God and casting all my cares on Him (1 Peter:5-7). In 2019, I was exhausted yet I was sleeping 8+ hours a night. The problem was that I was not at peace on the inside. I thought God needed my help. I mean, He has so many other people to attend to, so I am doing Him the favor, right? Wrong! When I don’t have internal rest or I don’t trust God, I am worrying and not resting. 

I decided this year, 2020, I am done with worrying. It has already been so much easier not having to have the answer to everything or have everything figured out. I have truly been living out “what is for me is for me.” By that, I mean I am no longer worried about where I will be in six months or how I am going to get there because I know that wherever I will be, I will be good because God has me in the palm of His hand. Not having rest on the inside can spill over into the physical by causing illness, physical symptoms, or complete exhaustion, so it’s even more imperative to prioritize my trust in Him.

I am currently in a season of singlehood, and I don’t think I have really appreciated this time. I believe God is teaching me to appreciate the time for myself and learn to rest, as it is a time where I have no obligations to anyone aside from my employer. This is my season to lay in bed uninterrupted and enjoy it. This is a season I get to spend alone time with Christ in the morning or whenever I choose. This is the season I get to travel without having to discuss any details or scheduling conflicts with anyone (okay – my employer is an exception again). When will I ever get this time back? What I am learning is that it is okay to rest and I don’t always have to be workingtowards the next goal or biding my time until the next season. God rested on the seventh day…who do I think I am that I don’t need to rest?

Now, don’t get me wrong; I think having goals is very important, but I don’t think we should drive ourselves crazy with goal-setting and achieving.

I have heard people say that when God tells you to do something, do it before He makesyou do it. God is telling me to rest, so rest, here I come! It will not be easy because I am not used to this but please believe I will try. 

What does internal rest look like to you? 

I leave you with some bible verses to ponder.

Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Genesis 2:2: By the seventh day, God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day, he rested from all his work.

Exodus 33:14: The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

Isaiah 26:3:You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.

Exodus 14:14: The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Psalms 46:10-11: He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”The Lord Almighty is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Isaiah 40:31: But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

‘Till next time….

Love always, 
Shayo

You Are Never Alone

How’s the week been? I’ll be honest, I’ve been dragging a little this week. I am feeling a tad bit run down, so I am going to make sure I am well taken care of this weekend with some self-love. 

I want to take the time to thank everyone who is reading and showing me so much love on my blog! The amount of support I have received is so unreal and I am grateful. I have gotten many comments about how vulnerable I was on my previous post about dealing with disappointment. People have asked if it was hard for me to write, or they have stated they didn’t think they could have been so open. To be honest, I had to go back and read what I wrote because I was not sure what everyone was talking about!  

I am a fairly private person, even though it may not appear that way, being that I am sharing my life through this blog. But I am also a very honest person. I may not share information up front without being asked; however, if I am asked, I will definitely be honest. I know no other way. Sometimes, I have told myself not to share certain things or others have told me not share certain things about myself because not everyone needs to know and not everyone has the best intentions for me. Please believe, I understand that! But I don’t know any other way to be than to be honest. All this to say, in my “Dealing With Disappointment” post, I was just speaking and sharing from my heart because I truly believed it would help someone – and I think it did.

The more I write these weekly posts, the clearer it becomes as to which direction I want to take this blog (I think!), and that is to let YOU know that you are never alone. I want my life to be a representation that we are all dealing with something. A lot of times, when we are going through hard times, we think we are in it alone and that no one has ever gone through our current dilemma, or that no one would understand our struggle; however, that is so far from the truth. I cannot even count how many times I have opened up to someone and they tell me, “Oh girl, I have been there,” or “Oh, I have experienced that,” or “Me, too!” 

And I think to myself, How come you never shared?

The more this comes up, the more I realize we can all help each other through these challenges in life. And yes, I am writing this from a better place emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally (PRAISE GOD) so it is easier for me to speak about challenges now. But I also know that my life will not be free from troubles nor challenges, and I want to be able to share these things so that you can feel comfortable in sharing your troubles and challenges as well.

You know how quick we are to share good news? We don’t hesitate to call up that family member, friend or significant other when we get that raise at work. When we get engaged. When we get a promotion. Or when that one thing we had been striving for falls into place. However, we go silent when we lose our job, when the relationship isn’t going well, when we are very depressed and run down. Why is that? Why can’t we run to our friends and family during the hard times like we do during the joyous occasions?  Why do we wait till we are in a better place to share? 

I am guilty of this myself. And it’s because it is HARD! Who wants to be that vulnerable? Who wants to burden someone else with their problems? I get that, please believe I do. I said this exact thing to my therapist a couple of months ago when she encouraged me to open up to my friends (which I did, and it was such a relief).

We have been programmed to suffer in silence and then rejoice in a group and I want to challenge this way of thinking. I have talked with so many friends who share their struggles after the fact, even though during their “struggles,” we were in communication and they did not share and I did not pick up on it. This could be a reflection of how unintuitive I am, but also how good they are at masking their feelings – something I am guilty of, too. 

My point today is to tell you that you are never alone so don’t act like you are alone during these tough times. Find a person or group to share with and you will be pleasantly surprised to realize that you are not alone in your struggles. According to Ecclesiastes 1:9-10History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, “Here is something new!” But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new.”

Reading this verse just reinforces that my situation is not that unique. The specific details are unique to my story but I can guarantee you that someone else has been through something similar and could give me advice, walk with me, pray with and for me, and give me some hope that I will survive this hardship and come out standing on the other side. 

On the other hand, when I suffer internally, I might end up dealing with something for much longer than I need to, all because I didn’t want to share. You know that friend you called last time you received good news? Call her or him when you are not feeling good. This starts a cycle. Your friend can be there for you during this bump in the road, and when your friend is in need, you can provide that support for them. 

Another reason you are never alone is because God is always with you! I know personally that there have been times where I have felt distant from God and wondered if God knew I existed. I wish I could tell you that I hear God speak to me on a regular basis and I wish I could give you tips on how to hear from God, but I am still learning myself. One thing I have been told to do is to sit in His presence and He will speak to me. Well, you see, my problem is that I talk too much…I’m still working on this! I do know that He is my Heavenly Father and He wants the best for me. There are times when I don’t see any action or even feel His presence but deep inside, I remind myself that He is working it all out for my good. 

During the midst of a struggle, that can be a hard truth to believe, but sometimes you have to repeat it until you start believing it. If I am completely honest with myself, when I take my eyes off my “struggle” at the time and look around, I see His presence in the day-to-day things of life. I am reminded of His presence in a song I hear, or in something someone says, or something I read or see. I can chalk it up to coincidence but if you truly believe God is in control, you know there are no coincidences.  Speaking of songs, Tori Kelly’s “Never Alone ” (link above) is a great song to listen to you when you can’t feel the presence of God. In fact, her whole album, Hiding Place, is an AMAZING album! 

Another thing that has brought me comfort in these times is opening my Bible. The two readings that have brought me so much peace and comfort this week are Psalms 34 and Psalms 91. I have been reading them daily to encourage myself and I can feel His love for me through the Word and as a result, I no longer feel so distant from Him. 

I don’t know how these posts get so long but once my thoughts start flowing, I don’t know how to stop them. Just remember, you are NEVER alone, and I challenge you today: Do not suffer in silence, reach out now! 

Till next time!

Love always, 

Shayo 


A Work Week In My Closet

How’s the week, guys? 

After such a heavy blog post last week, I decided to lighten things up this time with a fun one. I thought I would share my work outfits for this past week. 

As many of you know, I am a nurse practitioner and I work in a clinical setting. Our dress code at work is business casual, but I wear a lab coat every day. I think I push the limit on “business casual” most days because I am covered up with a lab coat that I hardly ever take off. 

My go-to outfits for work are dresses because they are easy. I don’t have to worry about matching tops with bottoms; I simply put on the dress, add some earrings and put on my shoes. I don’t have time in the mornings to make things complicated or worry about matching pieces or even ironing. I like to keep things simple.  

This week, I decided to share some basic outfits I have been loving lately. Stay tuned, this is going to become a monthly post! Shout out to FotosbyBen for being gracious enough to take my pictures. Follow him on his Instagram or check out his website.

My two favorite places to shop for work clothes are Zara and J. Crew! Those two stores never fail me. What’s your favorite place to shop?

Monday

Tuesday (my chill day)

This white jacket gave me so much life. It took me all the way back to a 90’s rap video lol.

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Hope you enjoyed it!!

‘Till next time.

Love always, 

Shayo 

Dealing With Disappointment

The wall of one of my favorite coffee shops in Houston, Tout Suite

How’s everyone’s week thus far? My week has been great! Work has been pretty smooth (praise God), I had a great session with my therapist, got to hang out with my favorite little humans – my two nephews – and I worked out three days so far this week (four days last week). Going strong! 

I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. The fact that you are still reading means the world to me! 

This week, we are going to be discussing dealing with disappointment. We all face disappointment in this life, but the most important thing is how we handle it. Disappointment may present as different things for different people – a breakup, which is my most recent disappointment; losing a job or not getting the job you wanted; people letting you down and not meeting your expectations; not getting the answer you wanted to that thing you had been praying about; not meeting a goal you set for yourself; or someone lying to you. How are you going to recover from your disappointment in a way that is emotionally healthy?  

We’re going to get really personal now. You ready?

With my recent disappointment, I have to admit I did not handle it well initially. I was angry and sad. I needed someone to blame for my hurt. I remember everyone telling me things like, “Go to God,” “Pray,” “Think of the positive,” and “It could have been worse” – you know, all those cliché phrases. We’ve all heard them.

But to be very honest with you, I didn’t want to hear any of those things, much less do any of them. I just wanted to wallow in my hurt and shut myself off from the world. I remember my mom offering to pray with me one day and I flat out told her no, and that I didn’t want to pray. My sweet mother didn’t say anything, and it is very unusual for an African mother to let you reject God, but I think she could see and feel my pain. 

I was not about to pray or fast, and I sure wasn’t about to read my bible. How could I? How could God let this happen to me? I had prayed for months prior to the breakup for God to fix the situation, and I felt that if God was in the business of answering prayers, He would have surely answered mine. I mean, I am a good girl, I go to church, I read my bible and I obey the commandments (or at least I try to!), so why wouldn’t He answer my prayers? But the reality of the situation is that God really did answer my prayers, I was just disappointed that He did not answer them the way I thought He should have. But He gave me what exactly I prayer for which was for Him to fix my situation and He did exactly that!

I was very angry at God, to be honest, and at that point, I had come to the conclusion that God didn’t care about me, so what was the point of praying? This mentality lasted for maybe a week or two, but God slowly softened my heart. I began listening to worship music and eventually praying, reading my bible again and seeking to be in His presence. 

I’ll be the first to admit that my way of handling the disappointment was terrible and unproductive, but at that time, I had no tools to help me. During this time of being angry at God, when I couldn’t open my mouth to pray, my tribe was praying for me. They were speaking words of life over me without me knowing. They were probably also praying to God to forgive me for my angry heart and I had no idea. 

I talk about my tribe – they know who they are – and I promise to go into more detail in the future. But I tell you, it is very important to have a tribe.  Thanks to their prayers and our loving God, that period of anger did not last very long and I am happy to say it taught me a few things along the way. 

I want to encourage you if you are experiencing disappointment at this time and equip you to better handle it in the future.

Accept the Situation

I have come to realize that I am not in control of my life and that everything happens for a reason. I knew that a few months ago, but I have a better understanding of what it truly means now. God has a plan for my life so why worry? He knew I would experience whatever disappointment may come my way but He has also promised me prosperity, no harm, hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). So what am I worrying for? Whatever situation I experience, good or bad, it is part of His plan for my life and I am okay with that. 

Accept Your Feelings

I think one of the things that hindered me from moving past my disappointment was that I felt like I had to hold it together and be strong. I didn’t want to show my emotions because I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me and ultimately, I didn’t want anyone else to feel sadness or disappointment on my behalf. However, I have come to realize that I have to go through these emotions to be able move on, but the key is to not dwell on them. I remember having a breakthrough one day, weeks after the breakup. I finally broke down and cried in front of my mom, and then later that same day, I cried to my aunt. I felt a release and it was quite liberating. That was a pivotal moment in my healing process. 

Work Through Your Feelings

I really had to process the disappointment of this loss. I had to reprogram my mind so it would click that all the future plans I had made were no longer going to happen. I had to tell myself that this situation did not define me. I had to remind myself that this hurt would not last forever. I remember telling myself repeatedly that joy comes in the morning. (Psalms 30:4-5 says, “Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night but rejoicing comes in the morning.”)I had to let myself mourn the loss, but also had to fill myself with new dreams and hopes. 

Stay Ready So You Won’t Have to Get Ready

You can look at this in two ways: 

  • Have realistic expectations when it comes to other people disappointing you. I think knowing who you are dealing with helps. When a person shows you who they are, believe them and don’t make excuses. This may reduce some disappointment you experience.
  • Be spiritually ready. If I stay in the Word, I draw closer to God, and I pray more often and really listen to Him. When disappointment comes, it should not shake me to my core. I will be ready. I will know Who is on my side, and I will know He has a plan and I have to trust Him in this disappointment. I may be angry because I am human but ultimately, I will have faith to trust Him wholeheartedly. 

Find a Tribe

Have people in your corner who will pray for you when you cannot pray, people you can open up to, be vulnerable with and even cry to (if that’s your thing…it is definitely mine!). Have people who will give you sound advice. Do not shut yourself off from people who love you because you are facing disappointment. These people want to walk with you through life and that includes the happy moments as well as the sad moments. For me, my tribe includes close friends, siblings, aunties and my parents. I have given you an example of how my aunt and mom supported me through this period of time. Let me brag on my friends really quick, too. Joy and Charrika, I will always remember you guys coming to the hotel room that Friday night just to be with me so I wasn’t alone. I love y’all and truly appreciate y’all! If you need someone in your corner, I’m ready to help in any way I can!

Remember, the Best Is Yet to Come

Disappointment is not the end of my story. It may be a bump in the road of life but it definitely is not the end and you will overcome this.  It can’t be, because His word says, “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28), and “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). 

Please keep in mind, I do not claim to be perfect in any way and stumble just like anyone, but I have used these tips to bring me to where I am today. 

I understand everyone experiences disappointment on different scales and a breakup may seem minuscule compared to your situation, but I hope what I have shared here can help you in some way, which is my goal at the end of the day. 

How are you currently dealing with disappointment or how have you dealt with it in the past? Please share!

‘Till next time. 

Love always, 

Shayo 

Self-Care Tips

Before we get to today’s post, I want to share a new feature I am adding. It will be something like a podcast. Like I said previously, I do not read many blogs, but I watch a ton of YouTube videos and listen to a few podcasts. So, for my people out there who do not have the time to read my posts, you can listen to them instead. I don’t know about you, but I drive multiple hours a day and I keep myself entertained with music, podcasts or YouTube. The link is coming soon and it will be at the top of each post. I will have a reminder when the feature is finalized.

Hey!

I hope you all have stuck with your New Year’s resolutions thus far. I just got back from one of the most relaxing trips I’ve ever had! I spent four days in Fort Lauderdale with two of my closest friends, and it was great! We literally sat on the beach, took multiple naps a day, worked out and ate. It just doesn’t get better than that. I was going to blog about the trip, but I am honestly the worst at taking pictures, so I barely have any pictures to share. I will try my best to improve on this since I have a blog now and I really enjoy sharing pictures. 

Today I want to share some self-care tips that I have started to incorporate into my life over the last few months. I am naturally a giving person. I truly love helping people; it brings me so much joy to help others and see them so happy as a result. This is one of the reasons I became a nurse (even though I have come to realize that nursing is sooo much more than that). I have discovered that one of my purposes in life is to give to others. 

But in giving to others, I sometimes forget to pour back into my own cup. Last year, I did not give back to myself enough, which resulted in me feeling drained and losing my sense of self. In order to prevent that from happening again, I am on a journey to improve my ability for self-love and prioritize self-care. 

To be completely honest, I struggle with this because growing up, I was taught not to be selfish, and self-care can be misinterpreted as being selfish. But I am re-learning that taking care of myself or doing what makes me happy is okay, and even necessary, for me to be able to give to the people around me. Basically, I cannot pour into others from an empty tank, and self-care is essentially filling up my tank. 

Since I promised to be honest, I am still a work in progress on this journey, but I wanted to share some of my practices. 

  1. Praying. Like I mentioned in my previous post, my goal is to start each day with God. I am a natural worrier and planner, which can sometimes lead to anxiety. In order for me to maintain my peace, I have learned that I need to keep God first in everything. I have to realize my life is not my own and I have the Ultimate Planner[AT1] in control of my life. With this being said, I can relax and not worry about everything because He has “plans to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give [me] hope and a future,” as it states in Jeremiah 29:11, so why worry? “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” Philippians 4:6 assures us. 
  2. Journaling.Writing down my thoughts in a journal helps get them out of my head. I also journal my prayers to God.
  3. Therapy.I am not ashamed to say it: I go to therapy and I actually enjoy it. Just like I take care of my physical health, I find it imperative to take care of my mental health. What I have found is that therapy helps with my thoughts. My therapist explained that thoughts influence behavior and that is so true! Therapy makes me aware of my thoughts and equips me with the tools I need to deal with this stressful life I live.
  4. Practicing kindness and patience with myself.I am learning that I don’t always have to have it figured out or have it “together.” It is okay for things to not be perfect or if things don’t go exactly as I pictured…it’s called “life.” Things that help me are repeating positive affirmations or Bible verses daily. For example: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” “I am a daughter of the King,” “I am beautiful,” “I am loved.” You can repeat whatever you need to be reminded of. 
  5. Saying no and letting go of FOMO.December was such a busy month and I LOVED it. However, I was exhausted at the end of the month and lost sight of my goals. I even became out of touch with how I was feeling. My Fort Lauderdale trip was much needed because it allowed me to decompress and re-energize so I could resume work. But personally, I cannot maintain a completely booked social and work calendar and I am learning to say no to invitations and let go of FOMO (fear of missing out). There will be other events I can make in the future. I am working on finding this balance. By saying no to invitations, I make time for myself, which leads me to the next practice. 
  6. Dating myself.This is self-explanatory. I am learning to appreciate my own company, which is something new for me, to be honest, but surprisingly, it has been quite enjoyable. Some activities I take joy in include getting my nails done, a day at the spa, going to the movies or dinner, or doing absolutely nothing!! I am planning on taking my first solo trip this year. Pray for your girl!
  7. Exercise regularly, eat well and drink TONS of water.For those who know me, you know I do not enjoy working out. I really wish I did but I could think of so many other things I would rather be doing, like sitting on the couch or shopping. But exercise is the way I take care of my body. I have only one body and as I get older, I want to make sure I’m taking care of it. Working in healthcare, I see what happens when people don’t take care of themselves and I’d rather not spend the latter part of my life in and out of the doctor’s office due to the decision I am making today. Most importantly, I want to look good and sexy for the day when the good Lord blesses me with my very own husband! 
  8. Unplugging from social media.I think this is one of the best things one can do for self-care. Social media is great, but it can also be detrimental to self-worth. We compare our seemingly mediocre lives to the highlights other people choose to share. In the past, I have gotten off of social media for months to a year, but this year, I am limiting social media by only spending 15 minutes a day on Instagram. My iPhone lets me set a timer. I will be honest that I sometimes ignore the timer, but I am trying my best to limit it to 15 minutes a day only.
  9. Getting adequate sleep and rest.Thank God this is not an area I struggle with!! Some practical tips include setting a bed time, shutting down all electronics such as TV and phones, and possibly trying melatonin (please speak to your own physician first).

Hope this is helpful to someone. How are you taking care of yourself and filling up your tank?

‘Til next time. 

Love always,

Shayo 

Happy New Year!!

Welcome to 2020!!! 

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU so much for all the love for me starting my blog! I received so many sweet and encouraging messages! I am excited to take this journey with you all!

I know everyone has their opinions about new year’s resolutions and why they don’t believe in them or do believe in them. Like I mentioned in my last post, my birthday literally comes right before the new year so for me, it is an opportunity to work on a better version of myself with a new age! Today, I will be sharing a few new year’s resolutions I have for myself and how I plan to keep them going past January 31st. I have such high hopes for 2020 and I am on a self-love journey so these few resolutions are intended to help achieve this. 

  1. Studying my Bible and praying every morning- I am making this a priority in 2020 and beyond! God has been so good and faithful to me and I have taken this for granted being the flawed human that I am. Why in the morning? I want to put Him first in everything I do and I cannot think of a better way to start my day off than with spending time with my creator. 
    • Practical tip #1 – I am setting that alarm clock 1 hour earlier in order to sit at my Father’s feet in praise and worship. 
    • Practical tip #2 (Tools)- The Bible study pictured below, Proverbs 31 daily devotional and journals to write out my prayers and keep track of God’s goodness (we tend to forget).
Some of the tools I will be using to accomplish my first resolution.
  1. Working out consistently- yes I am, this is EVERYONE’S new year’s resolution. In 2019, I did a horrible job of working out but I plan to get back on the exercise regimen in 2020. My goal is to workout 3-5 times a week for at least 30 minutes 
    • Practical tips #1- Accountability partners or workout partners! (Thanks, Jen and Khe)
    • Practical tip #2 (Tools):  Apps (Nike running app, WOD Generator , FitOn and SWEAT) and group exercises classes at my gym. 
    • Getting an affordable personal trainer (let me know if you have any suggestions, I am actively seeking).  
  2. Attending church and serving consistently (2-3 times a month) at church- I currently go to an amazing church here in Houston called Hope city. If you haven’t heard of it, check it out…It will change your life! I have been serving on the hospitality team for almost a year but I was not the most consistent last year.
    • Practical tip- There isn’t one, I just have to do it! No excuses.
  3. Being intentional with my tribe (family and friends)- Making sure to check-in on folks and let my presence in their life be known. Also, I want to share my struggles and joys with people so I can build more genuine connections.  In 2019, I learned that EVERYONE is going through something and majority of the times we keep to ourselves because we think we are alone (a lie from the devil himself). You are never alone! Reach out to someone in your corner they care about you! If you are reading this, I care about you and I will be in your corner. 
    • Practical tip #1- Set reminders on my phone to check-in on people. A check in can be something simple as a text message. It can also be a phone call, face time or setting an actual date to catch up. But I have to set reminders in my phone because I will forget. 
    • Practical tip # 2- Talk about it and do not isolate. I am the worst at this. If I am going through something, I don’t want to burden others so I keep to myself but I realized how much I needed my tribe in 2019. Provers 17:17 states “a friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in the time of need”. Let that sink in! Like Pastor Jeremy always says “we are not meant to do life alone”. When we learn these things, life gets a tad bit easier. *** I will go into more detail about my tribe and finding your tribe in a future post. ****
  4. Saving more $ and less spending. Setting a budget- Work in progress. *Future post*
  5. Scheduling self-love days 1-2 times a month (would love to do this daily but that isn’t realistic). Take a day to myself and just pour back into me by doing things I LOVE by MYSELF! 
    • Example- Going to dinner at a nice restaurant. Taking a weekend trip. Getting my nail done or doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! The goal is to do whatever makes me happy!

I hope you enjoyed some of my new year’s resolutions! Let’s keep each other accountable, remember we are best friends now! Let me know your new year’s resolutions as well!

I pray 2020 is your best year yet! I pray that you expect BIG things to happen in your life this year and that God grants you ALL your heart’s desires! 

‘Til next time.

Love always, Shayo

32

Nobu Houston

Today is my favorite day of the entire year. You guessed it, It’s my birthday! I love the month of December but the 30thof December is the one day that I make all about me. It is one day that is dedicated to celebrating me (not to say I can’t be celebrated any other day but you get what I mean). This year is a little bit different because I typically have a day planned with activities. This year, I really wanted to have this day to myself to truly reflect on this past year and plan for the upcoming year. I love that my birthday is at the end of the year because the new year is truly a new year of life for me. As I sit here and reflect on my last year, I am truly grateful. 2019 has been one of the hardest years for me due to the unexpected loss of a relationship and friendship that truly broke my heart but 2019 was also a year that I made progress. I became debt free and I truly started to work on myself and love myself. It is a year that really made me lean on my tribe and as a result, I saw friendships blossom. 2019 is the year that I am starting this blog. Why am I starting this blog you ask? Why not? I have always wanted to start a blog but I am not the best writer so I made excuses as to why I wouldn’t be good at it. I don’t have anything interesting going on in my life so I would have nothing to write about… another excuse. I have many excuses/reasons as to why I shouldn’t write this blog but I am not going to listen to them anymore. I am just going to go for it. So here I am.

Let me start by introducing myself, my name is Shayo. I am a 32-year-old Yoruba girl that pretty much grew up in Texas. I love Jesus and I am pursuing him more and more each day. I also love fashion, makeup, music and traveling. Essentially, I am your new best friend! Lol. I want to share my life on this blog in an honest, open manner as much as possible. I will talk about everything from career, health, fashion, life struggles and celebrations a woman in her 30s faces in our society. I hope you take this journey with me!

Love always, Shayo